


Not Your Fault

by writingstarsinthesky



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Before the Omega-4 Relay, F/M, Past shenko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 04:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4772816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingstarsinthesky/pseuds/writingstarsinthesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She doesn't blame him. She really doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Fault

**Author's Note:**

> Jane reflects on her old relationships, and new beginnings

Jane doesn’t blame Kaidan for walking away on Horizon. It had been two years since they had seen each other, and their relationship hadn’t really progressed after the battle of the Citadel. She already loved her crew but committing to Kaidan would be prying open the carefully constructed armor around her heart, and she didn’t know if she was ready to do that for him.

Jane had gotten spaced, had been dead for two years, and the nightmares still woke her up in a cold sweat, heading down to the battery to fiddle with her weapons and armor until she felt drowsy enough to sleep again. It wasn’t Kaidan’s fault that Garrus knew what to do in that situation, helping her upgrade her pistols and shields and staying quiet as the stories fell out of her, his quiet breathing becoming a comforting balm to her ears.

Garrus wasn’t her first choice, that had been Kaidan (he had been so young when she met him anyway, so eager and inexperienced with loss, she couldn’t have burdened him with her heavy soul) and she thought that if there had been more time, she could have really loved him.

But there wasn’t. The Normandy went up in smoke, Cerberus brought her back and she signed a deal with the devil to fight for humanity. Kaidan had made his choice, it was time to make hers.

She turns the photo of him face down on her desk, smiling a little as her door opens up. Garrus walks in, trying to seem easy and graceful but tingling with nerves all the same. “Shepard, EDI said you wanted to see me?”

She reaches out, taking his hands gently. “I did, yeah.” She says softly. “I wanted to get a bit of privacy, and I know the crew deck’s always packed. I just wanted to say thanks. For always having my back.”

It’s not Kaidan’s fault he had been mad, but Garrus snapping at him, angrily defending Jane from Kaidan’s accusations, had made the sting of truth a little less pronounced. If Garrus believed in her, she couldn’t be making that much of a mistake. Then again, it was Garrus.

“There isn’t anybody in this galaxy I’d rather have this more with. Or… You know, anything after.”

Garrus smiles, and the little clicks he makes tell her, in a turian sense, her words couldn’t make him happier.

“You planning on keeping me around, Jane?” He teases, pulling her close. The embrace is laced with teasing but it’s tender, the first real hug they’ve ever had. He’s using her first name too, that was new.

Jane grins, leaning into his hard plates, feeling the armor in her heart start to peel away. “As long as I can, Vakarian~”


End file.
